It was raining just now..so i had to go offline before i get murdered.Im pretty worried now.tomorrow night,im going to do an oral presentation for my english tuition.Hell yea..i can hear you say "what kind of tuition is this?"Overall,it's for my own good.In college,we will have to do it frequently.The topic of my presentaion was candies..but after watching an extremely touching series show,i decided to change my oral presentation to "Family".I have no idea how to do this last minute but with God's power,all things are possible.I trust in Him.Was i supposed to explain why i hated staying at home so much?Here I go.Like i said my favourite days are Saturday and Sunday because i get to see my good friends in church as well as have fun.If i was at home,all i could get is scoldings,swearings,naggings,screamings..every mean things you guys can think of.Agonising huh?Imagine how much i went through for the pass 14 years.Yes,it can be that bad.Don't blame my mum...blame it on me.All she wants is a perfect teenager.Too bad...because no one is perfect except HIM.The point is she never understands a teenagers life.Sometimes,when im not in the mood[PMS,love problems]example:not eating,not smiling,being moody,listening to music,lock myself in the room...My mum will start scolding me for being rude.What the heck?man,not only you have problems.I have my own problems..instead of her talking to me as well as discussing my problems,she just hurts me.It hurts you know.Im crying while typing..thinking why aren't there someone as understanding as Him to talk to me at home.My father is a good man but he is sick.I can't drown him with all my problems right?That wil be too selfish.I can't bear it any longer.I don't want to face my mum.My heart grips with fear whenever she is near me,thinking "OMG steph...what is she going to say now?"I hate it!i hate my home!People out there i know it's for my own good but not to that extend?My father truly understands me.I hate school because i don't have friends in school.That is the main reason i always ponteng school.My father is totally alright with it.Duhh.My mum on the other hand?we fought because of this issue.She hit me ok!she hit me on the head!never will i forget that night...never.I told her she never understood me.I mean since when?before i can explain...she will start scolding me.how do you want me to explain.when i ask her to stop and let me explain she will say im being rude.Ok...all this i don't mind.i don't care and bother because Jesus Christ will always be there during my suicidal times.BUT,what i hate about my mum is she loves to condemn my religion.Whenever i do anything wrong she would say "Is this what your church teach you?You pray for what?all these are hypocrisy!!"these words hurts me like crazy.I can't bear it.She doesn't know how much HE means to me as well as who am i without my saviour.
Father LORD,i thank you for my mum even how much she had hurt me and never understood me.LORD i commit her in YOUR hands LORD.Bless her abundantly in whatever she does.O LORD i pray that one day You would touch her LORD.Let her accept you in her life.Let her know that You died for us sinners on the cross.Forgive her LORD for condemning Christianity.I know You are a MIGHTY GOD..forever and ever You will be..Thank You Father for being there for me as such hurtful times.I love you.In JESUS's mighty name i pray.Amen.
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