Love life...Maybe it's not the right time

Dearest ____________,
Do you know how much you hurt me?Whenever i look at your contact in my handphone tears will start streaming down my cheeks.Whenever i think about the sweet memories we went through together,i will turn suicidal.May i ask?what in the universe did i do to make you hate me.Please do not see things superficially.You have to see the whole thing before opening your mouth.You hurt me so much and i still had feelings for you.What more can you ask for in a girl?i am willing to sacrifice my credit.I am willing to do anything for you my dear boy.Again and again you hurt me without appologising.I bet you don't even know that ive been crying my heads off for the pass few months.well,im better now though.Even if we no longer had *the thing*,i just want to be friends with you.Please don't let other people's words influence our relationship.You have your own brains.Maybe im not as pretty and flirtacious as her.Maybe im not as sporting and smart as her.But,i have a good heart,[not being paranoid]I turned down other guys propose just for you.What more can you ask?it's your lost by ignoring me.I don't care anymore.You had hurt me enough.there no more tears for me to cry anymore.All i can say is...you are the losing end and i hope you know that you are losing a reali friend.I had learnt my lesson.Guys had left a big scar in my heart.Im not ready yet.LORD,tell me when i am.Im willing to wait no matter how long it will be to find a suitable guy for me.I don't want to be hurt again LORD.Ps:TOTALLY NOT MY EX!